ex·pert

/ˈekˌspərt/

Learn to pronounce

I began this blog as an assignment for one of my classes.  I am going to continue the blog as an assignment for…another one of my classes.  The professor was specific in his instructions about the assignment:  We need to write a blog that is interesting and not-too-broad.  In other words, spend the next 12 weeks blogging about something that I have direct knowledge of that others will find captivating and enthralling.  For example, one student a few semesters ago set up a blog all about knitting.  Another student blogged about his extracurricular life of coaching youth sports.

Okay.  Got it.  I don’t know how to knit and I don’t care much for children’s sports (a fact I discovered AFTER I had three children who each participate simultaneously in various sports and activities), so I have zero to blog about there, which got me thinking…what AM I good at?  What type of knowledge and uncanny abilities do I possess?

Let’s see here…I show up for work on time and I like to think I do an above-average job in the workplace; however, I have a hard time believing that there’s a huge amount of avid readers out in the blogosphere anxiously foaming at the mouth to hear the latest tale of how I spent my day clearing a jam from the office copy machine or stocking K-cups for the coffeemaker.  All vital skills, sure, but hardly titillating material for the masses to consume.

Well, what else can I contribute?  In no particular order, here are some things I consider myself somewhat of an “expert” on:

• Going to Target with an itemized list and leaving with a $200 receipt and a cart full of things, none of which were actually on the original list;
• Sneaking out of my bathroom at night without making a sound to avoid my children hearing me and asking me for another snack when it’s 11:00 and they should be sleeping;
• Finding ways to combine coupons at Bath and Body Works in order to score lotions and hand soaps for bargain-basement prices;
• And finally, making sure all the children make it to the aforementioned sports practices while maintaining an inner monologue of profanities that would make a sailor blush, simultaneously ensuring my daughter is wearing panties, as she tends to “forget” to put them on.

It was during my thought process that I realized, maybe the insight I possess isn’t anything special.  I’m just another single mom, navigating the waters of my forties.  I’m blunt, honest, non-judgmental, and I keep it real.  You can expect to hear my random thoughts on religion, friendship, parenting, and leisure time.  You may also hear about the time my son asked me to take him to buy an athletic cup for sports, or how my second-oldest son once referred to his bedroom as a “shit brick,” a story that emphasizes clear enunciation and grammar usage.

Welcome back, friends.  I’m glad to be here.