The full monty is a British slang phrase of uncertain origin. It means “everything which is necessary, appropriate or possible; ‘the works’.”

Thirty-two years ago, someone that I love very much lost a family member to suicide this week, Halloween, 1987.  I have vague memories of the deceased – nothing major, mostly just “aha” moments when I see blurry snapshots; however, my friend’s recollection is a bit different.  You see, the person he lost to suicide was his father.  This time of year is a challenging one for my friend, because even 32 years later, the loss resonates.  I know because the actions – and inactions – of my friend say it all every year around this time.

Last month, Pastor Jarrid Wilson took his own life.  This story was extraordinary for a number of reasons.  One, Pastor Wilson was young, attractive, and hip.  Photos show his young, attractive, hip wife and children exploring the outdoors and playing sports – hardly the poster family for suicidal tragedy.  Two, Jarrid Wilson was an outspoken mental health advocate who struggled nearly his entire life with depression and suicidal thoughts.  Finally – and maybe most shocking of all – was the fact that Wilson was a minister, a pastor, a man of the cloth.  For nearly all Christians, suicide is considered an unpardonable, unforgivable sin.

Hours before his death, Wilson tweeted the following:

“Loving Jesus doesn’t always cure suicidal thoughts,” Wilson wrote. “Loving Jesus doesn’t always cure depression. Loving Jesus doesn’t always cure PTSD. Loving Jesus doesn’t always cure anxiety. But that doesn’t mean Jesus doesn’t offer us companionship and comfort. He ALWAYS does that.”

(For more on the life and ministry of Jarrid Wilson, click here)

There are some who question the existence of a benevolent God who would allow such a thing to happen.

My friend questions the existence of ANY god, period.

I have never struggled with suicidal thoughts or depression, so I cannot say I understand the mental state of those who do.  I only know several things for sure.

• Suicide is a very permanent answer to a temporary problem.
• The effects of suicide live on forever, embedding trauma and disorganized attachment styles in those who are closely affected.
• I am not God.
• You are not God.
• My job is to be me. Your job is to be you.  It’s God’s job to be God.  I don’t know why He does what He does, and it’s not my job to figure it out, either.
• What my job IS to do is to walk by faith and live daily the words of Romans 8:28, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

(As a side note, I always have found it interesting that Saint Paul doesn’t say “some” things or “when things are going well” they will work together for good.  No, he clearly states that ALL things.  All of them.  The whole shebang, the motherlode, the full monty.)

It is in that hope that my faith rests firmly, that the God we serve is more powerful than death, bigger than depression, and more powerful than suicide.

If you’re struggling with depression, suicidal thoughts, or the loss of someone from suicide, you are not alone.  Hope and help are available here:  https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

And if you’re one of us who have been touched by the loss of another through suicide – even indirectly – know that I’m praying for you, friend.

“To everyone who’s lost someone they love
Long before it was their time
You feel like the days you had were not enough
When you said goodbye

And to all of the people with burdens and pains
Keeping you back from your life
You believe that there’s nothing and there is no one
Who can make it right

There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
And love for the broken heart
And there is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He’ll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus.”

Words and music by:  Songwriters: Brad Avery / David Carr / Mac Powell / Mark D. Lee / Tai Anderson

Link to the official video by Third Day can be found here.